I'm a senior: Thoughts at the end of an era (almost)

It has been a while since I last wrote to all of you—a busy while. This past school year I think I focused more on work than school. Thankfully my work dovetails quite nicely into my studies.

I was the sub-editor assistant at The Daily of the University of Washington during winter quarter, and was just getting a feel for the newsroom when I was catapulted to managing editor. I did my best, and tried to stay away from the politics of the job to focus on keeping my staff content and productive.

I was the most stressed those first few weeks than I had ever been before, but five pounds skinnier and with a GPA a few points lower, I tried out for editor in chief. I lost. And for the first time in my life I knew that it was okay, and that my family loved me anyway. I cried my eyes out and moved on.

I do not like to fail. I do not like to make mistakes, but I have chosen a career which is a constant learning process. A journalist tries their very best to get everything right. They check and re-check facts and grammar. After reading it to themselves again and again, they take a deep breath and release the story to the editors. There is always the possibility in journalism that you got it wrong. Such is the elusiveness of truth. We are but human beings trying our best to understand the world and put it on paper. The problem—and the beauty—is that the world is damn complicated. This part of the work both excites and terrifies me. I didn't have to go to a monastery or a mountaintop retreat to learn to let go. Every night at The Daily, including the night of the selection of the editor in chief, has been a practice in non-attachment.

I am a senior now, and about to dive into uncertainty.

I will be in Athens, Greece this summer for a month (see: http://ahuskysodyssey.blogspot.com/), after not traveling internationally in six years, and I'm nervous to be so far from my home and family.

After that, and a few months finishing up my degree, I am graduating into an uncertain future, with an uncertain economy, and an uncertain job market with an increasingly uncertain place for journalists.

Today the internet gives everyone the power to report. Beneficially, news is no longer diced and dished out by media conglomerates; it is far more egalitarian. However, it is also messier. Without the ethical codes and training that professional journalists have, one cannot be certain what is being served—and who it serves.

This is the world into which I will be thrust, cap and gown in hand and with traveling and internships and a degree under my belt. That's not all I have, though. Ambiguity nauseates me and I'm constantly grasping for understanding and structure, but I'm diving anyway—because I do know how to swim.